You Can Help a Grieving Spouse Cope With Loss–Here’s How

Few events in life are more stressful than the death of a spouse or life partner. The grief is often overwhelming, not only for the survivor but for those who care about her. As a supportive friend or family member, you want to help. But you might feel like there’s nothing you can do. If that’s the case in your life, then take heart. Here are some ways you can assist the grieving person to endure the dark days ahead of her.

Help Her With Practical Matters

The period right after a loss is the worst imaginable time for a surviving party to make important decisions. Yet many choices are unavoidable after a recent death. These can include:

Caring for the deceased’s remains. This matter is hard enough to face when the funeral or memorial service will occur near where the couple lived. The matter becomes immeasurably more difficult when transporting the remains across great distance.

Scheduling a reading of the will. It’s a sad yet undeniable fact of life that a death can bring out the worst in survivors. The last thing the grieving partner needs is to mediate between people with conflicting interests and less than admirable motives

Dealing with insurers. Don’t get us wrong; coverage is a blessing during times of loss. The stressing of dealing with an insurance company, though, can overpower a grieving person even when the agent is caring and compassionate.

Arranging for the service. Call it a funeral, a memorial ceremony, or what-have-you. The details of arranging such a sad occasion are often beyond the surviving partner’s abilities

Prevention is the best cure when faced with these challenges. You should encourage your friends to prepare themselves before the inevitable day arrives. Sometimes, however, either circumstance or life choices prevent couples from tending to these matters ahead of time. Even in such cases, however, there are still ways you can help the surviving person (with her permission, of course)

Mind for the Wrong People

One way is to act as a contact between her and the various parties. You can offer advice and handle the legwork, sparing her from needless aggravation. It may do well to connect her with people she knows from her past, like old classmates. Please note, though: she must have the final say in all her affairs, even if you think her choices are unwise. Your place is to advise, not to control.

Another role you can play during this difficult time is as her guardian against scammers. It’s a tragic fact of life that con artists love to prey on people in mourning. Their methods are both clever and cruel. But they’re far from foolproof. Here are some ways to protect the grieving party:

Use caution when posting news of the death on social media. Criminals scour Facebook and similar sites for this kind of information.

Refuse to divulge personal details like the departed’s full name, address, or other personal details to strangers, no matter what excuse they offer

Encourage your friend to freeze the deceased person’s credit accounts right away. Notify creditors of the death so they can remain alert for so-called phishing scam. in which scammers try to get personal details about a company or individual with which to commit credit fraud

Schedule a meeting with an attorney to discuss any loose ends that may remain after the service. Attend the meeting with your loved one if she asks you to do so.

Greiving and Addiction: Know the Warning Signs

It’s vital that you watch for signs of drug or alcohol abuse in your friend, even if she has no prior history of addiction. Warning signals include sudden changes in food choices, sleeping patterns, or personality. Of course, grief can also cause these problems. So you should look for other signs of addiction as well. These may include:

Expressing anger or changing the subject when you bring up her altered behavior

Switching physicians or medical clinics on a frequent basis. This is a sign that she is “doctor shopping,” which is a strong indicator of substance abuse.

Showing no signs that she’s in mourning. She may even act giddy or ecstatic

Following the suggestions in this post can help you to safeguard those you love when they are at their most vulnerable. It’s all part of being a good friend or family member, which, in the end, is what life’s all about.

This article is brought to you by Joe Baugher